Clocks

Dear Internets,

Do I officially go public with this blog? I've wanted something that isn't specialized to share with the world - my LiveJournal account is only for friends, but there's something inside of me that's screaming for exposure (that sounds far dirtier than intended). This blog has always been there, free for anyone to read, but I haven't advertised it at all. But if I know that someone out here is actually reading this, will that change what I feel comfortable sharing?

Maybe I should keep this venue as it is, and let people stumble upon it in the future. It's all still up in the air.

One of my close college friends announced recently that she's pregnant, and that she's having a girl. I'm so happy for her, I can't even express how delighted the news has made me.

But then I stop and wonder: is my excitement truly happiness for my friend, or is it sparking something else inside me? Once again, I feel my biological clock starting to tick. The dreaded age 30 is coming in a little over a year. You know, the year where everything about your body starts to take a downward turn. I'm not even in a place in my life to consider having children. Hell, I don't even really like kids. But I'm finding that I want one. Mother Nature is prodding me far more than any of my earthly mothers ever will, and I find she's the hardest to ignore.

I need a man.

Yours in constant struggle,
Becky